After my mother followed my father back to Hong Kong, she had to face a brand new environment that was vastly different from Indonesia, with no relatives and no friends. The greatest challenge was having to live with my grandparents, who were extremely disciplined in every aspect. This became one of the reasons why my childhood in Hong Kong was quite pressured and unpleasant.

Grandfather was a Railway Construction Official in China, Then Became a Pharmacy Businessman in Hong Kong

My grandfather came from China, and during the 1930s–1940s, he was an official in the Chinese government's railway construction department. After World War II, grandfather along with grandmother—who was originally from Hong Kong—decided to move to Hong Kong, where they cooperated with several friends to try opening a few businesses, such as a pharmacy.

Photo of grandfather with his colleagues in the railway construction department of the Chinese government in 1947.

Grandfather standing in the middle. Photo of grandfather with his business partners at their pharmacy in Hong Kong.

Grandmother's Father was the Founder of a Primary School (SD) in the Yuen Long Area

Grandmother was a prominent figure in the Yuen Long area during her lifetime. My grandmother's father was a student who passed the national civil service examination during the Qing Dynasty, and in 1934, he founded a primary school in the Yuen Long area, which later became the most famous primary school in Yuen Long. Because of this, his children—including my grandmother—were highly respected by the residents of Yuen Long at that time, as they held the authority to accept anyone to become a student at the school.

Grandmother while grading her students' homework.

Mother's Struggle to Adapt to a Family Known to be Highly Disciplined

From the background I have shared, readers can probably understand why I say my grandfather and grandmother ran a family known for being exceptionally disciplined. When my mother first arrived, she was not fluent in Cantonese, which frequently caused many misunderstandings with my grandparents. Furthermore, she often had to meet with many relatives because most of their extended family also lived in the Yuen Long area.

Whenever there was a major festival such as Chinese New Year, Ching Ming Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival, and others, my grandmother would always invite relatives over to the house to eat. Often, these gatherings to meet with relatives would be held at my grandparents' house for several consecutive days. These events always included both lunch and dinner. Since my father only had one sibling—a younger sister who had already moved to England—the main person helping grandmother prepare food for dozens of people was my mother. Thus, my mother had to work incredibly hard to master various types of traditional dishes at that time.

From left: grandmother, mother, grandfather holding me, and father. Photo taken at The Peak, Hong Kong.

Mother Felt Highly Pressured During the Adaptation Period

It cannot be said that my grandparents were cruel to my mother, but they had high expectations, and occasionally other relatives would also leave many comments regarding my mother, who was still adapting to Hong Kong culture. This made my mother feel deeply pressured living with them. In addition, my mother saw that my grandparents placed too many rules on me in the house—such as me not being allowed to watch TV without their permission, walking completely without making a sound, and being lectured for hours if my school grades were not good enough, among other things.

One example was being scolded for reading grandfather's books. Grandfather had a special room designated for storing hundreds of books and magazines. As a small child, I was naturally curious and would try to read books in that room when grandfather was not at home. After reading, I would put them back carefully, yet grandfather would always find out every single time that I had entered the room just by noticing that the position of a book was slightly different.

Eventually, my father and mother bought an apartment and moved out, but it was still within the Yuen Long area and close to my grandparents' house so that they could still see each other often and my mother could still help them whenever they needed it.

My Nightmare Began by Entering the Primary School Owned by Grandmother's Family

After graduating from kindergarten, I entered the primary school founded by my grandmother's family. Many might think that entering a school owned by one's family would mean getting lots of privileges and more attention, but reality turned out to be quite the opposite. In the following articles, I will begin recounting the experiences I endured during my primary school days in Hong Kong.